I’d heard about the Mary Celeste but never thought i’d ever encounter such an eerie scenario myself. But as I stepped out on to the decks of the good ship Grig Orig and looked around, ’twas all I could think about. The place was in disrepair, clearly having not seen any use in quite a while, and where there once had been plenty of activity, there was now not a person in sight. No The Grig, no pages of scrawled notes of a million scrapped articles blowing to and fro on the breeze, and not so much as one member from the cast of FHM’s 100 sexiest women swabbing the decks in Grig Orig issue bikinis as they were when I last left. My thoughts immediately flew past the prospect of taking the opportunity to check exactly what The Grig was hiding in that locked top drawer that he had in his room as I suddenly heard a bleeping coming from the command centre of this once mighty vessel. I walked through the dense fog that swirled around my ankles as it pirouetted in ghostly wisps just above the lonesome decks, creaks underfoot meeting my every step before echoing into the gloom as if trying to flee the ghoulish vessel. I reached the command centre and pushed the door open. The bleeping became louder. I paused momentarily as i mused over times gone by. Long ago seemed the days when I would sit in there in full Vader attire imaging I was righting the faltering wrongs of the once great Sith Lord by successfully fending off Rebel scum from my very own Death Star while several clones of mid twenties Teri Hatchers served me slice after slice of amended Dominos Might Meaty. But the mirage of those great times evaporated from my minds eye as I perused the room, chancing upon the one flickering light still emanating in an other wise darkened and dead area in my peripheral vision. I walked over, flicking a sheet of paper draped over what I found to be a monitor back off of the screen it was obscuring, and taking the dusty mouse in my hand that lay nearby, clicked on a flashing icon stating ‘ALERT!’. The bleeping stopped as a message flooded the screen with information that caused me to draw a breath and gasp in a manner that strained my innards. My eyes widened and a cold chill ran through me as the message straight from Grig Towers investigative super Bat Computer began to register in my mind. As I read, a second chilly wave suddenly ran through me as I realised that it was down to me to move and relay this message to the world. The feeling subsided as adrenalin kicked in and began surging through my being. If there was anything that was to bring a new article to the online chronicle of Grig Orig, it was surely this! The good ship Grig Orig was suddenly alive again as I sprang into immediate action, grabbing a nearby chair and thumping down in it before proceeding to type out the following transmission with smoking finger tips:
Super Street Fighter 2 Megadrive -Update!
Ahoy my merry Griggers of guffawnary! And today we have a fresh chapter in a 16-bit saga that’s been 17 years in coming! For today (and of course, late as usual) we can tell you that Capcom have released an updated Megadrive version of Super Street Fighter 2 on the virtual console with… drumroll… online play! Yes that’s right! Hitting the ‘sole just this week, the old classic Megadrive Kombat-killer is up and about from its death bed after wheezing its way close to a clapped out oblivion, breathing now with the aid of a 2011 online play enabled iron lung giving it a fresh infusion of life! Admittedly, it’s on the Wii so nobody will be on there to play it against, but any Street Fighter news is good news here at Grig Orig! Except if it’s about gems. Tssk!
As I hit return to confirm the story wing its merry way to the front page of Grig Orig, I sat back contented by the fact that I had just changed the world for the better. Already I could sense the levels of joy begin to rise from every nation and I smiled accordingly. And thus, taking a nearby crowbar in one hand, I got up from my chair and headed in the direction of The Grigs room.
Well, that’s all for today folks. As you were.
Oh, and as it turned out the aforementioned Grig crew just had shore leave for the day and were at The Grigs new apartment as he wanted to show off his pad. But that’s enough about the latest addition to his collection of sanitary ware.